Wednesday 19 November 2008

Binks

A long, long time ago, in a place far, far away
There came a prequel that should not have seen the light of day
A maudlin moody hero and a spoiled stilted minx
But worse - the great abomination known as Jar-Jar Binks

They took our childhood memories and they crushed them with their greed
And the plotless, pointless outpouring was very poor indeed
Yet with so much to criticise there's no reviewer thinks
There's any thing that's even near so bad as Jar-Jar Binks

One film would be quite bad enough - but that was just the starter
The careless, clueless cash-in merged and morphed to a three-parter
Across the nerveless narrative the only thing that links
This tear-stained trilogy of tripe: You guessed it - Jar-Jar Binks

So what's the problem with this guy? Why does he cause such hate?
The casual racism of his role and voice are quite third-rate
He sucks more than the film - and the film, quite frankly, stinks
His mere appearance makes you feel sick - that's Jar-Jar Binks

Who was it caused our throats to vomit bile and hate and mucus?
That hero of our youth, now steeped so low - George Walton Lucas
So gorged by George's greed the whole of Lucasfilm now drinks
Upon their worship of pure profit - they are worse than Jar-Jar Binks

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